in the story of the choctaw indians, two brothers, chata and chicksah, led their people away from the less-prosperous west. they were guided by a magical stick, which would be pushed it into the ground each night, and which ever way it leaned when they woke the next morning was the way that they would go. after traveling for an extremely long time, they found the pole remaining vertical in the area now known as mississippi. this is where they buried the bones of their ancestors that they had carried along with them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Choctaw_creation_myth
my magical stick is my stream of conciousness. i don't know where i want to go, where i want to live, who i want to be around me, and what i want to do. i've been expanding my search to reach all corners of the world and everything in it -- but i'm still not sure exactly what's going to happen. this terrifies me.
when i dream [in mind and in sleep], my magical stick constantly is moving to a different direction, so i end up losing ground and after endless circling, winding up right back where i began. i'm pulled to anything that sounds remotely interesting on any aspect of life -- a pitbull named louie, india, painting, italian pizza, or a blue volkswagon vee dub. my magical stick seems to pull me off in tangents very unrelated to my life's search. i barely even trust it anymore.
hopefully, one day, my magical stick will stand straight up [awkward..] and i will be able to bury my past in my new life.
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Say more about this "carrying the bones of your ancestors" business. Is it hard work? What do they say? Do they guide you or try to keep you settled in a place where you the stick still leans?
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